The proud parents don't have a name picked out yet. So in the absence of an official name, I've been calling the baby "Monkeybutt McCupcake" and sending presents every week with a monkey theme. Monkey overalls, monkey onesies, monkey quilts, monkey socks, sock monkeys. Plus the occasional hand-knitted hat from Etsy that looks like a cupcake. Personally, I would be happy to keep calling the kid Monkeybutt for the rest of his life. But the proud parents have tactfully suggested otherwise.
So, in an effort to be helpful, I've been sending them name suggestions. Here's where we are so far:
To: Parents of Monkeybutt
From: Granny of the Apes
Ok, here's my first list of potential boy names:
arthur
bonzo
cornelius
darwin
elijah
finster
george
ham
ishmael
julius
kikazaru
luke
mazaru
nikko
ojo
pepe
razzberry
spike
thelonius
ungawa
virgil
washoe
zephyr
What do these all have in common, you ask? Why, they're all names of FAMOUS MONKEYS, of course!
My first vote is for Zephyr, but I also really love Finster and Thelonius (especially if his nickname becomes "Monk").
Mucho de loove,
-Granny of the Apes
From: Father of Monkeybutt
To: Granny of the Apes
Attachments: Scans of Ultrasounds
Medical angst be damned... may I introduce MISTER Monkeybutt!
Sorry if the resolution isn't great, the originals aren't super clear and they lose a little something in the scanning process. Let me know if you can't find his foot or hand or whatever.
Much love,
Father of Monkeybutt
Image of Boyness
Monkeybutt with weird superfluous little image drifting on the right that they think looks like a goblin.
From: Granny of the Apes
To: Parents of Monkeybutt
ZOMG!!1! Monkeybutt is so BEAUTIFUL! I have never seen such a beautiful fetus, ever. He is simply perfect. It's too bad they can't do color ultrasounds yet, I want to see what color his fuzz is. Lanugo, is that what it's called? It's been such a long long time since I thought about prenatal stuff.
Oh I think that goblin thingie looks exactly like a Calavera de Azucar. Or no, wait, maybe it's a Grateful Deadhead decal. Oooo, maybe
you're going to have a baby hippie!! :-|
Tons of love!
-Granny of the Apes
To: Granny of the Apes
From: Mother of Monkeybutt
Now we have the fear of hippies deep in us. While we were looking at the ultrasound yesterday, we swear that we saw a peace sign. We started freaking out that it was going to come out smelling like patchouli with dreds or something. So now that you think it's going to be a hippie, we're really scared! And yes it does look like a calavera de azucar. Seriously.
Love,
Mother of Monkeybutt
To: Parents of Monkeybutt
From: Granny of the Apes
Oh boy! Don't get me started on hippie names
Doobie! Fillmore! Moonjava! Snowphish! Stoner!
No, wait, I've got it: REVOLUTION!!!! We can call him Revvie.
But, um, Dude??? No. As much as I love The Big Lebowski, NOT Dude. And why the hell isn't Che on there? Or Fidel? Seriously, I vote for Revolution
Garcia Boomer.
Damn, this makes ME want to go out and start having many new babies, just so I can give them all fabulous hippie names. Be VERY afraid.
xxxx,
Granny of the Apes
So while the proud parents are off in their little anti-hippie world pondering boy names, dear readers, I am down here in Deep Inferno pondering grandmother names. If he can't really be Monkeybutt, then I can't really be Granny of the Apes. So I'm putting it to you all: post your suggestions for the perfect grandmother name for me. What should baby Monkeybutt call me? So far I've considered Grannyvibe, Maw Maw, Lala, Einstein, and Sophia Loren. What do y'all suggest?
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